Emotions
Some days just suck. Lately, I’ve felt like I’m doing everything right. Like I’m on the right track. For a while now I’ve felt like that. I still feel like that. But some days I just wake up and feel sad. I used to drown in this feeling. It would consume me for multiple days at a time. I would continue doing what I know I should. Spending time with my family, eating right, working out, sleeping well, and enjoying my hobbies. But the sadness would still be there, and it really bothered me. Obviously, we could all still improve in one or more of those categories, but like I said, I feel like I manage the best I can. The temporary sadness would still affect those things, however. I talk with my spouse about it, who is very understanding. I reflect. I really try to feel my emotions, dig down to why I am having them, and move past them. And it has gotten easier over time. And throughout life I have learned that dealing with emotions and suppressing emotions is not the same thing.
Today I just feel sad. We all have our own shit going on. Our own stressors. And yes, I understand everyone gets sad sometimes. It’s a part of life. I am fully aware of this. Ensuring these emotions do not control how I interact with those around me, is a major goal of mine. Dealing with the emotions through various avenues (journaling, writing, working out, reading) and continuing with my life is how I like to get through days like today. I don’t lash out. I don’t take it out on those around me. I don’t mope around. I feel what I am feeling, try to dig down to why, and if I find nothing I tell myself that it’s okay to feel sad, but sadness does not limit or control me.
Sometimes the why, is that we just woke up sad. And that’s it. That’s the why. Something that happened that day, or the day before, maybe something tiny, maybe not. But that could be the why. Nothing solvable that day. Nothing you can point to. Just the day.
I am still learning each day. About myself. About my family. About the why. And I will continue to learn. Continue to reflect. Continue to deeply feel, but not be controlled by, these emotions.