Anger and other emotions
I am no medical professional, I simply have reflected a lot on my own emotions and feelings, and am sharing my thoughts on what works for dealing with emotions in my own experience.
Iâm going to share my thoughts on anger. Because most of my emotions either start or end with anger. I could be angry because someone scared me, hurt me, betrayed me, abandoned me, or otherwise wronged me, at least from my point of view.
Ancient philosophers stated, âanger is temporary madness.â Not mad as in the sense of anger, but mad as in the sense of insanity or otherwise mentally unwell.
They say this because when we become overcome with anger, it becomes hard to make rational decisions. People do inappropriate things out of anger, such as lashing out verbally or physically harming others. When we believe that we have been wronged somehow, it becomes very difficult to see things through any other lens or from any other personâs point of view. In a moment of anger, it is hard to even conceive of the possibility that maybe you are wrong, and the other person is right, or maybe itâs not as big of a deal as you thought it was.
I like to compare it to being surrounded by fog. You canât really make good (rational) decisions in a thick cover of fog. So, you have two options. Option one: wait until the fog clears (i.e. wait for the physical chemicals in your brain to disperse and the anger to die down.) This sometimes works, but can also make things worse if you just sit there and stew. Option two: leave the foggy area (physical location, or take your mentality somewhere else.) Option one is pretty self-explanatory. Anger, first and foremost, is a chemical reaction inside your brain. Eventually, the chemicals stop flowing and the anger can subside. With option two, sometimes a change of scenery is all it takes to realize I was mad about something that isnât actually that big of a deal. Or sometimes, another event happens that can cause another emotion to take over, replacing anger altogether, and causing a new fire for my brain to put out!
Anger isnât so different from other emotions, at least in dealing with it. Making rational decisions while sad, anxious, or scared can also be very difficult. The other difficult thing is that these emotions can lead us to anger anyways. Ever been jump scared by a friend? I bet you went from scared/surprised to angry in about two seconds.
As I said, I am no medical professional. I just know what works for me. Waiting a bit, reflecting, getting myself into a different scenery, journaling, trying to view my situation from other perspectives, and really looking into why I am feeling the emotions that I am feeling.
You know what doesnât work? Someone telling me to calm down, to be happy, or to simply stop being anxious. To tell an angry person to âjust calm downâ is like telling someone to laugh without telling them a joke. It probably isnât going to work.